so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
