worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
