I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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