Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
