Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
