at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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