i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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