question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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