Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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