Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
