he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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