It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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