Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
