my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
