I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
