My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
