We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
