if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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