its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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