Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
