i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
