You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
