What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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