I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
