I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
