Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
