Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Randomize
