fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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