About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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