Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
