just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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