He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
