The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
