Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
