I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
