You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
