In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
