She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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