If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
