Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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