I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
