I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
