Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
