woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
