Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
