Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Randomize
