she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
