we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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