Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
