'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
