Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
