i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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