the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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