...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
