I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
