It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
This show inspires me to have sex in space
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
