I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
